My Discreet Letter to Unrequited Love
If Love Love Love = Happiness
Then why is it that I have so much love and yet I am still suffocating?
Choking, coughing up emotions that I cannot express to you.
Unrequited, I – was never too into it.
Who is interested in a relationship of
1 + “I’m not in love with you and nor do I want to be” = ?
Maybe it’s all that love that was left over from my past,
Just overflowing my body because I could not truly give it,
My inability to release
Causing my heart trouble with its beating,
Because it just wanted to love.
There is no larger injustice to my being
Than lacking me of love
—both giving and receiving as well as keeping a hold of it in my heart.
So Unrequited Love is totally my thing.
There’s nothing quite like hopelessly (and too hopefully)
Loving someone who will never truly accept it or love you back,
To tear you apart.
Sitting on the sea-saw
Of wanting to love them immensely anyway
Or hating every ounce of love so obviously slipping from your sad dog eyes,
Only working towards a compromise,
Convincing yourself to accept defeat each time you lie next to another body.
You want to move on and maybe you try
But at the end of it you know your true desire lies with them.
It only reinforces your forbidden feelings,
When you wake up remembering the love you’ve been fighting to forget.
And the days when you may feel a spark with someone else,
You question if you are even ready,
If you have healed or if you’ve even begun the damn process
And you may feel guilt, feel wrong
For even pursuing the thought of another while you are knowingly
Stuck crawling on your knees, deep and dark
In the mud of their love.
The soft, wet dirt
And steaming rain which they have left you in
—crawling, choking, suffocating on LOVE.
Oh, Unrequited Love, (I have always been a fan…)