Taken on a rooftop in Poonch, Jammu and Kashmir, India.

Hands down my favorite place in the entire world — The Golden Temple, Amritsar, Punjab, India. 

How many times have I been hungover on a flight or bus the next morning?

How many times were we warned and nothing happened?

Remember when we sensed ghosts together

Eerie and cold

Many nights like these.

I know we always wanted the warmth but instead

We tended to go for unfamiliarity and adrenaline in any form possible.

Too many memories but still I always feel like I never have enough time with you

Because we speed up the hands of the clock

We never stop

Fucking shit up

Sneaking out,

Not sneaking out but still suspect,

Beers just to say well we’re drinking beer

A good cold beer at the beach,

A picnic

Oh we’ve had many of those

Picnic for days

Wish we could picnic our worries away

Fly a kite without any wind

We don’t need technicalities

If we just do

Freely the way we always do.

Speeding through stoplights

But you always stopped at stop signs

Talking real to cops

Getting asked your number too many times for me to even pay attention to

Sneaking me into a club before I even turned 17

We’ve done it all

But there’s always more to be done

Why are we so far?

I always think we have different tracks in life

Yet we are so alike and

We need each other’s company

And existence more

Than anything else.

I’m not sure where we will be ten years from now

Hell, I’m not sure where I’ll be next year.

We’re just journeying through life

Quicker than the seasons can pass

Quicker than the gulps of tequila

We are chasers

Let me lime and salt you up

Bad chick good chick

We’re none and both

So don’t box me up

Not sinners

Believers/lovers/fighters

What did you ever know about this struggle?

Fragmentation and distance

Shivering through some nights

Waiting for some sunrise

Smiling through desires and fulfillment

Stumbling from one to the next

Today it was champagne

Tomorrow I’ll

Decide tomorrow.

Time is a whirlwind darling.

Don’t get so wrapped around it

Remember that you’re alive

Don’t forget the moments we sang

And the warnings will always come

Sometimes we really will fuck

Shit up

But I don’t remember you ever regretting or

Forgiving and forgetting.

“Cause all we ever do is love.”

Harmandir Sahib — The Golden Temple in Amritsar, Punjab, India.

Please take me back soon…

“Baby, who you callin’ soft?

Don’t make me smoke up all your kush

Don’t make me pop your cheap ass pills

I used to do this for the thrill, Ooh yea

I know you got a lot to lose

But ain’t nobody here but me

So baby what you got to prove?”

Me and Cinthia, Lulu Lounge, Brooklyn, NYC. 

Only a dark silhouette to read me from. 

Why should I give you any more?

We stand next to fire every day.

Lost in thoughts and boots and the wind

— the whirlwind.

Where did you go, humrahee? 

My sister and I, on the NJ Path. 

We speak the way we breathe,

we love the way we breathe.

Sometimes without intention,

without discretion. 

Take off your mask,

what are your intentions?

Covered in jewelry, 

can’t speak with your own discretion.

Your charity comes from privilege 

bothered by the preferences

the world has of your body

but yet you take pride in displaying the same attributes

which bring you black and white 

layers of blood diamond attention

and you tend to forget to mention

you’re a wreck and just as fucked up as 

Mary Jane’s friends,

painting the town with

a pin up girl’s genitalia. 

What if 10 years from now,

I find you smoking a bud laced ciggarette

taking a break from the runway,

black nipple covers,

eyes deeper

than I ever remember.

I imagine you’d be happy

displaying yourself 

and giving away pieces of your humanity to

a thousand frames a day

and flashes to mask the smoke constantly surrounding 

your subtle dark curls

and your “I’m ok”s.

I imagine you’d be more than okay,

filtering leaves through water

outside the window of your second story brick linked home

in nothing but lingerie 

and a good poker play. 

You have no idea 

how much the thought of you turning into dust worries me…

How easily my eyes fill with tears from subtle thoughts…

Every now and then I remember

I recall

And I remorse

Over your pain,

Our pain.

And in wonder,

I hope and I pray

For a future

Where you will never disappear

And from love and strength

You will heal

And be whole and happy.