I will move on, because I have to, I have no other choice but to accept reality.

But I will never, ever stop loving you the way I do tonight. I will always look at you like you’re everything and you’ll always blush and shy away. I wouldn’t want to ever stop seeing the light in you, the beauty hiding in each little expression, the world’s oceans in your eyes…

But I will, I will move on. One day.

"Sometimes you have to leave your past attachments behind and move forward in life. You are gonna meet so many people, you’ll see. You have to always move on, keep going…"
Sometimes I feel my father knows me more than I think and sees past my smiles more than anyone else.

My best friend makes me feel like a million bucks :)

"Thank you so much, always and forever, my savior"

"You make me sound like Jesus"

"You are Jesus"

LOL wat

~(Because I wouldn’t want you to forget in my absence) That I love you, in the way the tide loves to push and pull a wave.

I love you in the way the tide loves to push and pull a wave.
Like returning a recognizing gaze
From one soul to another
Instinctively sending signals
No barriers or judgement between us
Bringing one to wonder,
How does love melt the cold?
And mend the change in the seasons
Like a thread with no knots or ends
And yet so many links
To connect strength
And the steps we take to keep on breathing
—In, love
Out, love

Namaste,
I said, I love you, in the way the tide loves to push and pull a wave.
I said I want you to learn the letters in my name
And now you tell me it was worth it, wasn’t it?
Because yes, this world can be too harsh and too cold,
Life is short they always say, but we know the nights are longer
And if you can find warmth in a friend
That’s the best hot cocoa I ever sipped on a freezing, frigid day
Your arms never let me down before
And my voice will always bring you back
To the little home we made
With windows never closed,
Doors on all four sides,
The architect’s plans left room for nothing but growth!

Immeasurable depth lies between our souls
So, today I plant seeds of peaceful dreams
In an endless garden
Each stem that grows will carry hope
Each leaf and flower lifting up honest, pure emotion
The bees and butterflies will buzz
And when they do, we’ll smile, watering our garden with more love
Just so more and more souls can come and coexist
With us too.

I love you, in the way the tide loves to push and pull a wave…
Stand by me and I will stand by you as family,
Cherishing the home we made.
God forbid you forget the directions,
I will show you the way
And in the meantime I only ask that
You keep my keys safe,
Your cheeks lifted,
And your smile, the same. :)

Oh shit I just got caught with a BUI !!

A BUI !!

Blogging Under the Influence…get it? (LOL) :D

#BUI 

"What am I gonna do when you’re gone? I’ll be like a fish out of water…"
Papa Jani is the cutest <3
mohabbatein lutaaunga
abhijeet sawant

This will always be one of my favorite songs, such beautiful meaning that touches your heart. :)

Only a Lover understands what one does for Love.

"A King is a man who has conquered his mind."
Unknown

I hate my fucking dreams sometimes
You try to forget things and move on
But your mind is still there holding on to grudges you let go already.

~Things I wish I could tell my mom (#2)

"I’M GAY MOM

I don’t care for someone’s gender or genitalia 

I loved a girl and I loved a boy, I know it’s real,

I have a genderless soul in this temporal body.

Please still love me.

And please let me be me.

~Things I wish I could tell my mom

"I’m not afraid of you. I just want you to love me for me. All of the me’s I’m scared you’ll never love…" 

My true companions know that I have struggled just to make it through this past year…

Trigger warning; Suicide, depression, self-harm, but also: peace, love, and happiness

My true companions know that I have struggled just to make it through this past year… There have been days when I could not pull myself out of bed and I would lie curled up, ignoring calls and texts for hours and then lie to my friends about where I was/why I didn’t answer them. The apathy was so bad that I actually failed a class. I didn’t recognize my own reflection in the mirror. There have been days when my mind would be occupied with plotting my own death, I would google the lethal dose of my medication over and over again, research cases of overdoses and then decide I should take the medicine I am allergic to as a back-up in addition to washing myself away into the James River… My mind would be consumed with constant suicidal thoughts, wanting to escape from myself and everything else. There was a time when I didn’t feel safe alone so I would come to my best friend’s apartment every night because I knew there was no way I could hurt myself while I was there and I only really felt safe with her. I did hurt myself on two different occasions, after which I was extremely embarrassed and the scars which have finally faded have made me regret that regression every single day since then. I struggled with myself and my mind every day and I still do struggle sometimes with negative thoughts and self-loathing but I have made progress as I try to counteract and change those thoughts. I am working to breathe positivity in and out as much as I can. Suicide is not an option, I have to appreciate the life I was given. I am in a much better place from last Fall, and the fact that I have made it out of that hole makes me feel like I can work every day to become healthier and happier! I thank God and the people that stuck by me during my hardest times, telling me not to give up. 

 
If you are reading this, please do not ever give up on yourself. You are valuable and you deserve peace, love, and happiness. Your soul is beautiful. Love yourself and build positive energy within yourself. You can get through anything if you have faith and trust in yourself! And do not be so hesitant to seek help from others, stay humble and take help when you know you need it. The first step towards feeling better is acknowledging that there is something wrong, take that step and confront yourself. I know it is not easy because I have to remind myself these things time and time again, but it is possible. Because for the first time in months I can say that I believe in myself… :)

This is my Vegan Vow

I became a vegetarian almost exactly 3 years ago, when I just turned 16 years old at the beginning of my first year in college. I decided to become a vegetarian after I acknowledged my passion for animals and my belief of all living creatures having souls and conscious lives more so than ever before.

Although I have known many vegan friends over the years, I never actually gave veganism a real chance or even looked into the reasons behind it more. I think this is because of my Indian culture and the way I was raised to love and appreciate milk and dahi, homemade yogurt. But now it is hard for me to ignore the fact that even if an animal product, for example a cow’s milk, does not kill it to give that milk, that does not change the fact that at the end of the day, those cows will be slaughtered for their beef, regardless of whether they have been “treated well” or not while they were alive and giving milk. To be a vegetarian and still consume dairy products means I am still feeding into the meat industry and further supporting it (and the killing of animals) because I am a dairy consumer and the beef industry runs parallel to the dairy industry in order to mass produce and save money.

I do not believe that we, as human beings, have the right to enslave and kill animals the way we do for our own benefits… Furthermore, the torture, pain, and neglect inflicted upon animals due to factory farming is inhumane. I wish that “meat” did not even exist as a concept in this world, and that no one ever killed any living being… I know that the factories won’t stop running because I became a vegan but that does not mean that I shouldn’t live my life based upon my own beliefs and moral values.

This is something which I have researched, and pondered for months now and the time seems right. I can’t wait on the world to change; I want to be an honest, kind human being and I do not want to cause pain to any living beings. I want to give and take peace and love. And I vow to that aspiration. —This is my Vegan Vow.