Will I ever let go? I don’t know.
Do I want to let go? No."
You toss me strikes of lightning
and yet you can’t even handle my wave,
So who’s sensitive now?
Your avoidance of emotion isn’t foolin’ a soul.
And I tried to show her over and over again
how beautiful her curves were
how her body was made to be appreciated
but it wouldn’t make a difference what I saw
because society had already put a bad filter on her mirror
critical of every crevice
while I saw the brightest lights
We both can’t be with you because your family would never accept a black man and would never accept a woman
but the difference is that he had you— he fucked up and he still had you — you had real feelings for him and you gave him a chance
^^Two things I could never have…not even for an instant. Not one spec, not now, not ever.
He can cry me rivers because he lost you
but even the moments he had with you, I will never get.
You burn all my flames of hope. You spill acid on the surface of my heart’s desires— breaking down each part of you locked inside of me…
I understood myself only after I destroyed myself.
And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was."